Life is Good
by Silmarilz1701
Summary: Suicide Awareness and Prevention Fic. The Knights, Merlin, and Arthur teach a young woman the value of living. No romance, just hope. Dedicated to Chester Bennington of Linkin Park. USA Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
1. End the Battle

_**A/N** : An important author's note for multiple reasons._ _ **First**_ _, to explain the purpose of this OC Merlin story. This is a_ _ **non-romantic**_ _, OC oriented story to help people who are struggling with seeing the goodness in life. It starts out quite dark (Trigger warnings at the end of the A/N), but every chapter from here on out, starting with number 2, will be our Merlin characters helping this young woman realize that_ _ **life is worth living.**_

 _I started writing this as a personal story I wasn't going to publish, but then decided I would publish it during NAMI's week in October. HOWEVER, about an hour ago the_ _ **news broke that Chester Bennington of Linkin Park died by suicide**_ _, and I decided there really isn't a better time than the_ _ **present**_ _to post this story._

 _Each chapter is going to be short, probably around 500 words, and I would ask that in the reviews, or in PMs, you let me know what keeps you knowing that_ _ **LIFE IS GOOD**_ _. I'll incorporate as many as I can into this fic._

 _Trigger Warnings for the first chapter: Attempted Suicide, Mentions and Reference to Self-Harm, Plenty of Self-Hatred._

* * *

 **LIFE IS GOOD**

 **By Silmarilz1701**

 _Dedicated to Chester Bennington and Everyone Suffering from Mental Illness_

* * *

 _Who cares if one more light goes out?_

 _In a sky of a million stars_

 _It flickers, flickers_

 _Who cares when someone's time runs out?_

 _If a moment is all we are_

 _Who cares if one more light goes out?_

 _ **Well I do**._

 _\- One More Light, Chester Bennington + Linkin Park_

* * *

 **Prologue: End the Battle**

* * *

She was not a good person. That much she knew. All her life she had tried her hardest to be good. All her life she had failed. She had fooled a lot of people into believing her goodness, even herself occasionally. But as she grew older, and her fierce tongue caused her to lose friends and family, she realized that all her efforts were for nothing.

So one day she set out from her home with a simple mission. She intended to end her life before anyone else got hurt because of her. With only a knife in her small satchel and a simple ragged brown cloak over a blue cloth dress, Eve picked up her walking stick and set out into the forests of Camelot.

She had thought about bringing rope for a noose, but her knot tying skills remained lacking. But it really didn't matter to her, she could do as much damage with a knife as she could've with anything else.

She reached a small clearing a few hours later. Sitting down on the soft grass, she ran her fingers over the emerald blades wistfully. Soon, she supposed, her body would become a part of the clearing. She could look forward to that.

For a moment, Eve thought she heard laughing. She drew her knife immediately and made the first, deep incision. Across one wrist, and then the other. Blood began to flow from her body as she lay down. Within a minute, the laughter came closer.

A voice rose above the others. "We'll stop here tonight. It's a good spot for-"

"Is that a girl?"

"She isn't moving!"

The rushing of feet was heard and soon Eve, struggling to keep eyes open, saw six men standing or kneeling around her.

"Oh my God, she's bleeding all over the place," one of dark complexion shouted.

Eve shook her head, tears staining her face. She choked out a simple, tiny plea. "Let me die. Please."

The men stopped what they were doing for a split second. The one with raven hair, not wearing chainmail, shook his head.

"She's clearly delusional. Percival, get me the medicine bag! Everyone else, step back."

"No," Eve slurred. "Le'me die."

Merlin began wrapping her wounds tightly as she passed out. He spoke a spell while the others watched worriedly. "That should halt the bleeding. I hope we were in time…"

"Stay with her. We'll make the camp,"

Merlin looked at Arthur like he was crazy. "You don't know how to make camp…"

"We may not have magic, Merlin, but we can do basic tasks," the king bit back.

All the men were on edge from finding the girl. Who had done this to her? Who had left her to die?

As they sat around the campfire, Merlin serving them all dinner, the girl lay nearby. She didn't stir until long into the night. Merlin, Gwaine, and Leon sat up on guard. A small whimper from where the girl lay alerted them all to her awakening. All three stood and walked over to her. Merlin took his knife and cut her sleeves so he could look at her arms for more damage. What they saw shocked them.

"Who did this to her," Gwaine growled ferociously, hands clenched in anger.

A lattice of scars covered her pale skin. Some old, some newer, all from blades, Merlin ran his hand down her arm carefully. Her eyes slowly opened, and she blinked back in the firelight. She sat up slowly, weakly.

"Hi there," Merlin smiled. "I'm Merlin. What's your name?"

"You couldn't let me die, could you?" She bared her teeth like an animal and stood as they did so. "I told you to let me die!"

"Why would you want to die?" Leon asked quietly. "Who hurt you?"

When she didn't respond, instead downcasting her eyes as the rest of the company woke, Gwaine stepped closer to her. He took her arm and glanced in shock from the scars to her eyes.

"You did, didn't you." He murmured quietly. "You did this to yourself."

The girl burst into tears but tried to break free. When Gwaine held fast, she began to fight him, punching his chest with her free hand in an effort to get away. But he held fast, grabbing her other arm to steady her. Eventually, as they all watched in varying degrees of surprise and horror, she stopped and fell to her knees in sobs. Gwaine held onto her still, dropping to his knees with her.

"It's alright," he murmured slowly. "You're safe now. We won't let you hurt yourself."

Merlin dropped beside her and checked that she hadn't reopened the precarious healing spell he had done. Satisfied she remained safe, he watched as Gwaine held onto her, grasping both arms gently yet firmly as she cried.

Merlin walked over to the others. He murmured quietly. "She tried to kill herself."

"Why would she do that?" Arthur murmured, demanding an answer from no one in particular. "Why would anyone do that."

The question hung unanswered in the air. The girl had quieted down but still cried, struggling to breathe between coughs.

Gwaine nodded. "Now, what's your name?"

"Eve," she whispered.

"Pretty name." Merlin smiled at her and sat down beside her in the firelight. "Where are you from."

"I'm not going back," she quickly insisted before bursting into more tears. "I can't go back."

The others exchanged glances. Percival knelt down next to her and took her left hand. Gwaine still held onto her right. She gripped them for dear life, as though if she let go, she would fall away forever.

"You don't have to go back," Percival assured her.

"Were you been harmed there?" Arthur asked slowly, sitting down across from them with Leon and Elyan.

She let out a short, humorless laugh. "No. No I wasn't."

"Then why?" Leon asked quietly. "Why do this?"

She shrunk in on herself, beginning to retract her hands from the two knights beside her, but when they wouldn't let go she relented. The physical contact was helping her.

"I… I am not a good person." She murmured barely above a whisper. "I do not deserve to live."

Gwaine and Percival and Merlin, the only ones who heard her, had looks of pity and confusion on their faces.

"I'm sure you are a lovely person," Gwaine insisted, shaking his head.

"I have an anger inside me which lashes out," she explained. "I hurt people, people I care about. Now I have no one."

"You have us, right now," Elyan replied quickly and without hesitation. "And you aren't hurting us."

She sobbed again. "Give it time. It always happens."

They exchanged quick glances. They looked to the king. Arthur spoke up moments later.

"I want you all to get some rest. Tomorrow we continue our patrol. Eve, you will come with us back to Camelot." He gave a small smile.

She looked unsure but nodded. Leon and Elyan took the watch, but Eve hesitated. She didn't want to let go of the knights. She feared they would all disappear. Gwaine looked at Percival and gave a shrug and a smile.

"Eve, you'll stay warmer if you're near one of us," he mentioned offhandedly.

She looked at him gratefully. Lying down near Gwaine's bedroll, he let her hold his hand as they slept. Leon shook his head several hours later. He turned quietly to Elyan.

"She's clinging to Gwaine for dear life." He shook his head.

Elyan nodded, whispering in return. "I have never seen someone so broken."

"I have a few times. But only in those who have seen the horrors of war," Leon quietly replied.

Elyan frowned. "Perhaps the war is in her mind."

The war was in her mind. And they decided it time some soldiers stepped up to help her keep marching on. They wanted to show her something in particular.

They would show her that life… life is beautiful.


	2. Butterflies

_A/N: In honor of The Butterfly Project..._

* * *

 **Chapter One: Butterflies**

* * *

In the morning, Arthur and Percival woke the others as the sun rose. Eve felt comfortable enough to finally let go of Gwaine. As she sat on the grass in silence her eyes fell to her exposed arms. The bandages around her wrists reminded her of the day before. The lattice of scars screamed back at her how she had failed.

Merlin sat down next to her, having served breakfast to everyone else. He handed her a plate of bread and cheese and strawberries. As she moved her hand to pick up a berry, she winced.

"It'll hurt for awhile, I'm afraid," Merlin told her quietly. "They're deep."

She nodded. "I know."

"We should be back to Camelot in the next few days," Arthur spoke up a moment later, eager to change the subject.

Eve nodded but said nothing, still staring at her arms. Elyan watched her carefully. He wanted to say something, anything, to comfort her. But what could he say?

Suddenly a brilliant blue butterfly floated around the clearing. Merlin got an idea. He took a bucket of water he'd retrieved from a nearby stream and set it in front of them, in place of the ashen pile of firewood.

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked in confusion.

"Showing Eve here something beautiful," Merlin said with a grin.

She raised her head and looked puzzled, glancing between Merlin and the water. "It's a pail of water?"

Merlin laughed a little. "It can become much more."

She watched as Merlin reached out his hand and breathed a spell. The water began to ripple. Beads of water, like dew, floated up from the surface and began to take shape in the air. Dozens of little water droplet butterflies flitted around the campsite.

"That's amazing," she murmured quietly.

The knights watched as her face lit up when a water butterfly flew towards her. She held out her hand. It landed gracefully, sitting atop her palm.

She giggled. "It tickles."

They all laughed. Seeing her smile made them smile. As a second magical butterfly landed on her arm though, her smile dropped. She grew grave once more.

"Butterflies don't see your scars," Gwaine reminded her. "They only see goodness."

"What even is good?" Eve muttered. "Nothing I've ever done."

"You laughed," Elyan quickly pointed out. "Wouldn't you agree that laughter is good?"

"And no butterfly would ever land on something evil," Percival added.

Eve sighed. "I guess not."

"Here," Merlin said. He reached out to her and placed his hand over her scars. "Buterflége."

As he removed his hand, a small image of a butterfly remained on her arm to cover some of the scars. Eve gasped, looking at it carefully.

She laughed, tears in her eyes. "That's beautiful!"

" _Life_ is beautiful, Eve," Elyan reminded her with a smile.


	3. Horses

_A/N: Because I still remember the first time I saw a real horse..._

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Horses**

* * *

"We should get going," Arthur ordered them soon enough. "We're at least two days from home. Merlin, get the horses set."

Eve looked up from where she'd been marveling her new butterfly image. She hadn't even registered the horses yet. As Merlin brought them out into the clearing from the trees, she gazed in awe. The only horse she'd had back home seemed small and scrawny compared to these majestic beasts.

"Do you ride?" Percival asked her, helping Eve up.

"A little," she shrugged. "Not much. I walked more than rode."

"Come say hi to Gringolet," Gwaine gestured as he took his black stallion's reins from Merlin. "He's gentle enough."

Eve looked up at the tall, muscular horse and hesitated. She stood a foot from its head. Gwaine chuckled, but Eve stood where she was.

"Come on, he's not _that_ big." He smirked.

Eve snapped back at him, "He is to me."

Gwaine dropped his smile and nodded. "Fair enough."

"Sorry." Eve felt tears spring to her eyes. She sniffed back the tears and shook her head, scratching at her arm. "As I've said… I can't control my anger."

"It's fine," Gwaine assured her. He gestured over to Arthur. "I've taken worse from the king over there."

Her eyes shot open wide as she looked at the king. "You're King Arthur?"

They all chuckled, but it was Arthur who responded as he pulled himself up onto Hengroen, his white stallion. "Yes. And these are my best knights."

"See, you've nothing to fear." Gwaine shook his head with a laugh. He gestured to the others. "Take your pick."

"May I pet him," Eve asked slowly of Gwaine. "Gringolet?"

Gwaine nodded. "Of course. Like I said, he won't bite."

Elyan rode by them, circling behind Gringolet. "Unless you're keeping apples from him."

Leon smirked. "Are you sure that's not Gwaine you're thinking of?"

"Of course!" Elyan winked. "How could I be so silly."

Gwaine rolled his eyes. "Hah hah, boys. Very funny."

He took Eve's hand and placed it on Gringolet's forehead. She looked deep into the horse's eyes and saw a mixture of emotions. Sureness, steadfast wisdom, and gentleness all floated in the depths of those eyes. It took her breath away.

"Hi there," she murmured, a small smile forming. "Aren't you pretty."

Gringolet shook his head, causing Eve to jump back for a moment. The knights held their collective breath, but Eve just laughed. She tilted her head to the side and placed a hand on his neck.

"Want to ride him?" Gwaine asked. "After all, you have to ride with someone. I'd suggest Merlin, but he's already got all the packs."

They all glanced at where Merlin had mounted his own horse. He agreed immediately. "This stuff already weighs a ton."

Eve smiled at Gringolet, placing her hand on his head again. She leaned in and whispered. "Would that be alright with you?" When Gringolet didn't back away, she chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes."

Because of her injured wrists, Percival lifted her up into the saddle in front of Gwaine instead of Gwaine pulling her up. She marveled at the former's strength. She wasn't _that_ light.

"Gringolet seems to like you," Gwaine told her quickly as they set off. "He's rather picky."

Her eyes burned with fresh tears. "He's not as smart as I'd have thought, then."

Gwaine chuckled quietly. "Or maybe you need to realize that you're not evil, you're not hated. Maybe, if anything, you've just made some mistakes."

Eve sighed and looked at her bandaged wrists. "That's for sure."

"Well hey, at least you're alive right?" He shrugged. "What matters now is you stay that way. No more hurting yourself."

She frowned.

"Gringolet wouldn't like that," Gwaine added with a smirk.


	4. The Riverbed

_A/N: Because nothing is more cleansing than crystal clear water..._

* * *

 **Chapter Three: The Riverbed**

* * *

"The horses need water," Merlin reminded Arthur as they continued on after lunch.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "I know you have magic, Merlin, but you can't talk to animals."

"Even you must be able to tell," Merlin insisted.

"Sire, it is rather hot," Leon added in support. "And we've ridden them hard."

"Very well. At the next stream we stop."

As it turned out, the next stream wasn't far at all. Within the hour, a gurgling brook flowed to their right. Arthur ordered them to dismount and rest.

Merlin, after seeing to the horses, watched Eve carefully. She stood alone, back against a tree. Her right hand gripped her left arm tightly, nails digging into her skin. A frown adorned her face. The laughter from earlier had dissipated. Occasionally her eyes drifted to Gwaine's horse, Gringolet being not far away, drinking from the stream.

Merlin approached the water's edge and looked down into it. It was a small stream, bubbling quickly. Dozens of little guppies swam in the shallows where the water stayed much calmer.

"Eve come here," Merlin beckoned.

Jolted out of her battling mind, she wandered to him and knelt down beside the warlock. Merlin gestured for her to look into the water.

"Look at all the little guys," he said with a smile.

She looked down and suddenly a tiny grin formed on her face. She saw them, little tiny fish struggling to swim in the current, to get to safer waters.

"Look at them, fighting their battles." Merlin looked at her closely. "Just like you."

Eve felt her heart go out to the guppies. They struggled just like her. They fought for their lives just like her. They still lived… just like her.

 _Splash!_

Eve fell backwards as water lightly sprayed onto her. She gasped and turned to see Gwaine with a mischievous grin on his face. It stunned her.

Merlin laughed "Splash him back before he runs away!"

She grinned and reached into the cold water, throwing a handful at the smug knight. He tripped over his feet as he tried to get away and fell backwards as well, landing on the warm, springy grass.

Gwaine groaned. "Ow."

"Serves you right," Leon smirked. "You shouldn't go splashing people!"

"Be careful, you're next Leon." Gwaine winked at him.

Eve ignored them now, instead taking off her sandals and sticking her feet in the shallow stream. She allowed the flowing water to wash away her problems, at least for those precious moments. The smoothness of the rocks beneath her feet, the chill of the water, it all relaxed her.

Soon enough they made to leave. Percival once more heaved her onto Gringolet with Gwaine, both still damp. The sunshine warmed them as they rode on, dappling the forest around them and offering some relief.


	5. Bird Song

_A/N: I can hear them now._..

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Bird Song**

* * *

The day began drawing to a close. Eve withdrew into herself even more than they'd come to be used to. Gwaine, concerned and confused, consulted with Merlin as they made camp. Eve sat silently, staring off into the trees. As the two men talked quietly, Elyan joined her.

He sat beside her, back against the same tree. "You know my favorite part about these patrols?"

She shrugged, not meeting his eyes.

"Listening to the birds during twilight." He touched her on the shoulder and gestured with his other arm to the tree tops.

The others quieted down as they ate dinner that Merlin prepared. Elyan and Eve sat a bit off to the side. As they all sat quietly, the hooting of owls and singing of mockingbirds echoed around them.

Elyan spoke again, even more quietly, his hand still on her shoulder. "Close your eyes."

She did as instructed, warily.

"I like to imagine what they're saying." Elyan began to describe what he thought carefully. "Now, the owl is probably hungry. He's been asleep all day and is complaining about how bare his stomach is. But he can't let the other birds think him weak, no. He's Mr. Owl!"

Eve cracked a smile at the thought, her eyes shut tight. She tuned her ears to the hooting of the night time hunter. It did sound suspiciously like complaining, but in a much more sophisticated way.

Elyan continued. "That bird you hear now, that's a Mockingbird. He likes to sing for an audience. Day, night, he doesn't care as long as he can make sweet noises for those around him."

"That's very nice of him," Eve chuckled, eyes still closed as she imagined the various birds' personalities.

"Now that third one there," Elyan began to smile as he thought about it. "The third song you hear is a Nightingale. Beautiful song, no? She's a funny one. Always singing for nothing more than the pleasure of doing so."

Eve nodded and smiled. As Elyan removed his hand from her shoulder, she opened her eyes. The sky had darkened quite a bit more since they'd made camp. Merlin had started a fire and the others had finished eating.

"Come on then," Elyan smiled, standing up. "Let's go eat before we starve like Mr. Owl."

She gave a short, quiet laugh before accepting his offer of help off the ground. "I'd much rather be Miss Nightingale than Mr. Owl, that's for sure."

"And so you shall," Elyan agreed. "You will be a lady who lives for the sake of living!"

She nodded slowly and sadly. The others noticed this immediately. That was something they would need to work on with her.


	6. Fears

_A/N: By request..._

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Fears**

* * *

As the birds sang and the fire crackled, Eve sat beside Leon. The others slept soundly, having drifted off over the past hour. The knight continued to coax her to sleep but she refused.

"Why do you stay up?" Leon asked her after about five minutes of silence.

She sighed and looked down in shame. "I am afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of living."

Leon looked into the fire. "Were you afraid of dying?"

She gave a short and quiet rueful laugh. "Of course I was. I was terrified."

"Yet still you tried to die." He frowned.

Eve shrugged, tears forming in her eyes. "When you live in constant pain, it offers a release. My mind is a warzone."

Leon nodded. He didn't fully understand her, but he could sympathize. "How so?"

She frowned. "You don't realize… how scary it is to know that your mind is actively trying to end your life. I don't want to die, but often times I feel like it's the only option."

"I may not be able to fully grasp what you're going though," Leon began, "but I have faced death many times in battle. It is not something I envy of you, having to live with it every day. I hope we can help you."

Eve smiled softly to herself. "You already have. All of you." Then her smile dropped. "I just hope it's enough. I do not like being alone. Being alone with my mind… it is terrifying."

"You don't have to be alone." Leon stoked the fire as he spoke. "All of us, we will try our hardest to help."

"Why?"

"Because we're knights of Camelot. It's our job." He shrugged. "That's why I became a knight, to help people."

"I wish I could help people." She shook her head. "I just muck things up really."

"You have a good heart, Eve. I can see that from the day we've been with you." He smiled as she hung her head. "I do not think you're evil. I have seen evil, I have seen revenge and betrayal. That is not you."

She felt tears streaming down her face. "I try so hard."

With a nod, he responded carefully. "If you live and your story helps one other person, is it not worth living? If you die today, how will you know if tomorrow will be better?"

Eve fell silent, contemplating his words.

He continued. "My life has been changed, having met you. Gwaine's, Merlin's, all our lives have been changed for good. It has shown us that we have a job to do. It's given us a purpose."

"Well." Eve sniffled and flashed a small smile. "Then I suppose I will have to keep living."

"Tomorrow is a new day." Leon nodded. "Who knows what good and beautiful things we will find?"


	7. Drizzles

_A/N: When it rains..._

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Drizzles**

* * *

Eve woke early, before the dawn. Gwaine sat on guard with a not so subtle frown on his face. She wondered what caused him to be so unlike his happy self.

Then a drop of rain landed on her forehead. She sat up. Gwaine didn't notice at first, too busy looking up at the trees. But as she began to shift closer to her own tree in an effort to stay dry, he glanced over at her.

"Morning!" Gwaine smiled. "Lovely weather, eh?"

Eve shrugged with a tiny smile. "I like the rain."

Gwaine stared at her. "Really?" He shifted over next to her and shrugged. He grew more serious. "How're your arms feeling?"

Her face grew red as she thought back to the night she tried to end her life. Gwaine must've noticed, because he put a hand on her shoulder.

He shot her a small smile of encouragement. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just not something we want to repeat, right?"

"Right," she murmured quietly, head still down.

"C'mon. Let me see the cuts." The knight held out his hand. "It's time to change the bandages anyways. Might as well let the rain wash away all your problems?"

She nodded and handed him her wrists. Slowly he peeled away the first bandage, getting another one ready with his other hand. He shook his head with a smile as he looked at the cuts.

"You're lucky Merlin was here." He nodded. "Doesn't look too bad."

He wrapped it in a new bandage. Gwaine looked up when she didn't respond and smiled to himself. Eve had tilted her head back, letting the rain fall in her face and hair. As if she felt his gaze, she opened her eyes and faced him while he treated her second wrist.

"How did you learn to treat wounds like these?" Eve asked quietly.

"You know," Gwaine began slowly, "I lived on my own for a very long time. I worked alone, I traveled alone, so if I got injured, I treated myself… alone."

Eve looked at him sadly, "I'm sorry."

He shrugged but nodded. "Nothing like you've been through I'm sure. I mean, I got low sometimes. I never thought about killing myself, but at times I wished I could just die by someone else's hand." He frowned, memories flooding in. "But then I found Merlin, and Arthur I suppose." He chuckled to himself at that. "So, remember that. You have us. You don't have to treat yourself alone like I did."

She nodded. "Thank you for telling me all that. Really."

He nodded. "Now, I know _you_ like the rain. How about we try waking these lazy bums and get going. They won't be happy though." Gwaine chuckled. "Especially Arthur."

Eve laughed lightly. "Alright."

Gwaine paused. "Why do you like the rain?"

"It's the sky crying. And the tears… they give life to everything." Eve looked around. "The rain doesn't discriminate. It just loves."

The knight looked at her and shook his head. "You have more goodness in you than you know, I think, Eve. Stick with us. You'll find out. I promise."


	8. Twin Fawns

_A/N: Another by request..._

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Twin Fawns**

* * *

The rain died away while they breakfasted. Eve chewed on some blueberries in quiet contemplation, watching the steadily dying fire closely. She finished before the others and decided to say good morning to the horses.

Gringolet threw his head up and down as she approached, as if saying hello. Eve gave him a soft smile, placing her open palm on his forehead. She could feel the warmth radiating off his skin and it felt oddly comforting.

"You're a good boy," she told the horse quietly with a smile. "I hope you get all the apples you could ever want."

Gringolet merely stared back with his big, blackish brown eyes. He nuzzled her with his snout. Eve giggled.

"Eve!" came a quiet call.

She turned around to see what the knights needed. She saw only Percival and he gestured to her before putting a finger to his lips for quiet. With her brow furrowed in confusion, Eve followed him. Soon they found the other men.

"Look." Percival gestured ahead of them as she squeezed between Merlin and Elyan.

Ahead of them in the grass sat a tiny fawn. The baby deer's hide, though a rich light brown, seemed almost as if white paint had splattered over it. Eve's breath caught in her throat. Beside the sleeping fawn stood an equally cute twin. It eyed the humans more with curiosity than trepidation, even to the point of stepping closer to them.

Eve felt tears in her eyes. She stopped in confusion, reaching up and touching the tears. Elyan noticed and turned to her, confused.

"Why do you cry?" he asked quietly.

She scowled at herself. "I don't know."

"Come on." Merlin nodded to the fawns. "Let's leave them in peace."

The others agreed. Slowly they backed away, Merlin taking Eve's hand carefully and giving it a squeeze. Together they went back to camp.

"They were so beautiful," Eve murmured, wiping the tears from her face. "They had no fear of anything. Nothing!"

Merlin nodded in understanding. "Someday, that'll be you."

She laughed. "No. No, it won't."

As the knights went to object, someone else jumped in first. He had not been vocal in his support of the young woman, which he regretted. But he knew his knights capable of helping her.

"You're so sure," King Arthur chimed in. "But I've seen you come back from death. That's incredibly brave."

"He's right," Merlin said.

"You're agreeing with me?"

Merlin scowled playfully. "Don't push it, prat."

The group mounted up and Eve found herself in front of Gwaine yet again. She fell quiet.

"They were beautiful, no?" He spoke softly, so only she could here as the others joked around.

She nodded. "Truly."

"I think nature wanted to show you how courageous you are," Gwaine said with a shrug. "Brave and innocent and curious."

"I try," she nodded with tears in her eyes.

"No." Gwaine shook his head. "You succeed."


End file.
